............................... What does it mean? Click here

martedì 25 dicembre 2007

From Mariateresa (Melbourne, Australia)
Hi, one day in England the questioner in me woke up and so this came out.
I hope you'll find it amusing, maybe it will awake some questions also inside you
or maybe you have few answers.



Who am I?
Am I a name?
Am I my name?
Am I the name the woman, which gave birth to this body, decided for me?
Am I the vibration of this name?
Am I vibration?
Am I this body?
Am I the mind? The mind that is now thinking?
Am I a dream of the Big Dreamer?
Am I a thought of the Great Thinker?
Am I my voice?
Am I the vibration of this voice?
Am I my destiny?
Am I in charge of my destiny or is the destiny in charge of me?
Can I change my destiny?
Have I free will? Free will to change my potential destiny or to accomplish it?
Am I the night or the day?
Am I the good or the bad?
Am I the light or the darkness?
Am I the potential light to illuminate the darkness?
Am I there or them?
Am I the mass, part of the mass or a human being?
Am I me or my mother and father?
Am I the realization of their wishes or the accomplishment of my Creator Plan?
Am I the day or the night?
Was I or I will be?
And when am I?
Here and there, sooner or later, never or just now?
Am I the moon or the sun, the flower or the sky, the water or the fire?
Am I this or that?
Am I the power or the will?
Am i the history or the future?
Am I mine?
Am i of my parents?
Am I of my family?
Am I of my society?
Am I of my homeland?
Am I of my people?
Am I of my heart or my mind?
Is my heart mine? And if it is mine, why does it make me feel good or bad, up or down?

Wine or beer, red or yellow, blue or green, orange or violet, right or left?
Why have I to choose?
Sooner or later, now or never?
Good or bad, right or wrong?
Can I choose always to be right just because I want to?
How can I know?
How can I discern?
Can I be good also if I am wrong?
Am I what I know or what I want, what I wish or what I can?
Or maybe I am the sum of all my actions!
But if I am my actions, who chose to do them?
Who chooses?
Is it me, my name, my thoughts, my heart, my voice?
Is my mother, my father, my granny? All of them are screaming, shouting, wishing in me!

I want ice, I want fire!
I want to go up, I want to go down!
Who wants?
Who says?
Who wishes?
Who yearns?
Who commands?
Who controls?
Who believes?
Who hopes?
I will be better, I have been bad...

I am Here and Now!

What?
How?
Who?

Who is the one that says: "I am Here and Now"?
Is the cell of the right arm or the cell of the left foot?
Is my sex, my emotions, my mind?
Is the one serving the others?
Are they cooperating in peace and harmony?
Is the truth a reality?
Is the good a possibility?
Is there any chance to be right?
Or maybe the good is the truth and the wrong only a possibility?
What if the bad is only a choice?
Who in me chooses wrong if I want to be right?
Who in me acts badly if I want to be good?
Why can I not control myself?
Maybe because I do not know who I am! I do not know where I come from!
My body comes from my parents, my emotions reacts to all the external reality, my mind responds to them and tries to discern;
my personality has been influenced by everyone, everything, any event, situation, organization, structure, false necessity...
Am I the genetic program or I am dominated by it?
Who in me wants to reproduce itself?
Is the specie or the ego?
My cells shout, my mind explodes, my emotions go crazy!
I must reproduce myself! for, at least, 1000 personal reasons, personal wishes.
Who am I in all that?
Where am I in my decision?
Can I shush my cells for just enough time to find out who I am?
Can I recognize the voice of the genetic program, the social-national-historical program?
Is all this true or I am only dreaming?
But if I am dreaming, then why am I here? To dream all this or to find out the truth? Or just to find myself a stranger to me?
Can I get to know who I am?
But if I come from my parents and them from their parents and so on, can I break the chain of repetition?
The repetition of the same life lived many times: to dream to be happy realizing dreams that are not mine,
to submit myself to the genetic program, to choose what somebody else has chosen for me,
to work because to make money is good, to stop smoking because to smoke is bad, to foster children believing they are mine,
to depart then from this life naked and without a pence as I came one day, a long time ago when I wanted to know all about the world,
when I wanted to live what I believed to be my life, my choices, when I was so sure it was not going to happen to me,
when I knew I was going to be happy and strong and stable... Long time ago, before that day when I realized I have been betrayed
by the lack of courage and I have ended up living somebody else life, I have accomplished somebody else plan...
The day I saw myself in the mirror and I cried at the sound of the laughs of the programs in me...
The day I died just to find myself, once again, in front of a new choice:
"do I want to be born to the real life or do I want to remain dead as I always have been?".
I do not know who I am! I do not know the man I have been sleeping with for so many years!
I do not know that boy and that girl once I believed my children!
I touch their surfaces but I cannot go deeper, maybe because I am afraid to find myself in their inner selves.
Do I want to be born to the real life? But I do not know what it is!
Do I want to remain dead? I cannot!
From that day nothing has been the same any more! I started to see the dominion of the programs,
I started to see my actions, my thoughts, my emotions, been dominated by habits, traditions, common sense...
The sense of the community! But where is my sense? Where am I in all this?
Can I emerge and take control of my actions, my thoughts, my emotions, my life?
Can I decide now that I want to be what I am and I want to do what I am?
Can I accomplish now the real purpose of my individuality?
Can I use my free will now to choose to accomplish my destiny?
Can I play my part in the Cosmos?
Is it too late for me or it is never too late?
Is it day or night?
Is you or I?
Or maybe there is only "I Am" in the universe?
Can I be, one day, free from the effects of each and every qualification?
Happy-sad, rich-poor, good-bad, nice-ugly, too much-too less, passionate-depressed, too early-too late, simple-difficult, right-wrong...
If I go up-inside-forward in a fluid constant movement, can I be free from the effects caused by my ignorance?
Is there a better way to spend my life than to find out what my real purpose is here and now?
And what is this new feeling invading myself?
Can I call it Love?
Comprehension, Understanding, Mercy, Piety, Charity, Unity, Union...
One day I accepted the truth of my unconsciousness and that day I decided I wanted to be conscious, but for what reason?
What is my reason the be?
Is my reason my plan?
Is my plan my destiny?
Is my reason my destiny?
Is my destiny to evolve?
Is my destiny to go up-inside-forward or this is just the way?
Is the answer another question?
Is the night a day without sun or is the day a night without moon?
Is my Creator in me or I am in my Creator? Or maybe both?
How can I be sad anymore knowing that It Loves me?
How can I be afraid any longer knowing that my potential destiny is to go back to It?
Luckily everything has already been written, it has already been said, it has already been drawn, everything is in me!
Today I smile at the face in the mirror, I smile at my father in me, at his wishes for me, I smile at my mother in me,
at the projects she made for me! I smile at my body, when it wants to be loved, I smile at my emotions, when they want to
be comforted, I smile at my mind, when it wants to be controlled!
I smile and I put together the night and day, the earth and sky, the up and down, the right and wrong, the good and bad...
The opposites want to be unified in the centre by the constant rhythmic balanced interchange.
That is my life now, I am the flower and the sky, I am the ice and the fire, I am the night and the day, I am the moon and the sun...
I am what I am, no more no less that

"I Am!"

.

.

Nessun commento: